Don’t start an argument with a girl because they all have 45020194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 14:23PM on 23/04/2007
friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?
me: i don’t have money
friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay
i told my mom that god has killed babies in the bible and she didn’t believe me so i searched it up and to my surprise
there’s a list???
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
in conclusion god is an asshole
okay well I mean ten murders is still bad though so
god gambles with your souls pass it on
This week on “I Didn’t Know I Was a Satanist”
Back in prehistoric times it was just a free for all. God was putting antlers on everything and made 7 foot tall gophers with wings, it was a mess.
Look at this poor, impractical bastard.
The prehistoric era was God’s Deviantart stage.
Now he just hides all of his stupid-looking OCs in the ocean where no one can find them.
I can’t not reblog this
Do you think that when Steve Rogers sneezes, one of the Avengers goes up to him and whispers, “God Bless America”
Then Steve fucking looks at them like this
no IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER TONY’S FACE OH MY GOD